Transcript:
Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and a mama of two. On this podcast, I share with you coaching tips and tools, to help you deal with the challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I help you to enjoy your life more today, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you? It was my birthday this week and this is episode 30(!!) of the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. So I thought it’s great timing to talk about celebrating yourself, because, you know, I’m celebrating life and how far I’ve come. I feel very very proud of myself and I know that this doesn’t really come naturally. Not to me and not to a lot of the mums that I help. I’ve had mums tell me that they can’t really acknowledge all the things they do everyday, because they feel like they should be able to do it all with ease. And there we have it again, the word “should”. This one single word can cause so much shame, guilt and exhaustion. (And if that’s the case for you too, please go back to episode 17 where I share a little exercise that will help you to drop some of those shoulds.)
Now, back to this episode.
Firstly, I do not believe you should be able to do everything with EASE. In fact, I don’t think that’s possible, because there are just sooo many things that we do and are responsible for as primary caregivers. And feeling like we need to be able to do it all, all the time AND with ease is a perfect example for the Perfect Mother Myth. (Also something I talked about in a previous episode. Episode 13 to be exact.)
Our brains tell us all those things that are simply not true and we try harder, do more and more and more, and overextend ourselves, trying to achieve the impossible.
It’s exhausting. The first thing you can do about that is catch yourself when you have those kinds of thoughts. “I should do more of this. Should do less of that and just should feel different than I do right now.” All those thoughts are based on you thinking that you’re not enough the way you are.
And I want to tell you that you are. You are good enough exactly the way you are right now. No matter how much you’ve done today. No matter what else is on your to-do-list. You are enough right in this very moment.
I want you to go even further than that. Even if, or better, especially if you find this hard to believe. I want you to celebrate everything that you are (instead of thinking about all the things you’re not.) I want you to acknowledge yourself. I want you to feel proud of yourself. Not because you do so much for your family everyday, which you do, no doubt about it! But I want you to see yourself for the amazing person that you are. Not “just” as a mum. (And just is very much in inverted commas here.) You are worth celebrating. Every single day and that’s a fact!
At this point, I want to read an affirmation card to you that I picked this morning, because it happens to be very fitting for today’s episode. “Celebrate. I celebrate how far I’ve come. The achievements, the setbacks. What I’ve learnt, how I’ve grown. I pause, marvel and celebrate myself and my journey so far, the highs and lows, and everything in between, knowing I am right where I need to be.”
And if you’re still not convinced that celebrating yourself is a good AND necessary step to being a calm, resilient mama, let me share some reasons that might make it a little easier for you to acknowledge yourself and why you’re absolutely worth celebrating everyday.
Celebrating yourself can improve your emotional well-being,because it can counteract feelings of overwhelm, stress, and self-doubt and therefore leads to an improvement of your mental health. It can help you to recharge your batteries and prevent burnout.
You set a positive example for your little ones when you celebrate yourself, your wins, you prioritising your needs and you trying out something new (whether or not you get it right the first time or not). They learn by watching us and you modeling this will help them see that it's okay and good to prioritize their own needs, to take care of their wellbeing and to celebrate their achievements.
Celebrating yourself can help you to feel more fulfilled and appreciated, because it always starts with us. Instead of expecting others to appreciate what we do, we can start by appreciating ourselves and, therefore, showing others how we want to be treated. And when we feel confident and content, it will definitely have an impact on our relationships and the environment in our homes.
Ok, now that I’ve proven to you (hopefully) how important it is to celebrate yourself, let’s get to actually doing it.
You can celebrate big milestones (like the anniversary of your parenting journey) and other accomplishments (like helping your child through a challenging moment). You can reward yourself with a treat or you can celebrate with your friends. You could even keep a journal where you write down your experiences, achievements, how you’ve grown and memorable moments. (This also can come in handy, as a reminder on the days when you don’t feel like you’re doing a good job at all.)
However you choose to celebrate yourself and your journey, take it as an opportunity to reflect and remember what an amazing mum and person you are!
So let me finish by giving you 2 questions that you can ask yourself everyday:
What can I celebrate today? And, How can I celebrate today?
If you find answering these challenging, I’d love to support you and I invite you to check out my coaching program, the Calm Resilient Mama Project, because that would be a great place to start.
Talk to you next time.
